Then there's the fake crying, lip pouting & tornado siren whinging from my 4yo boy - I really don't know how other mums do it!
"Mum, she stole my pinchy things!" (plastic pliers)
"Give him back the pinchy things now & don't snatch you naughty girl! Ta for mum please"
4yo boy runs up to me a few minutes later yelling "MUUUUUUUM, she's ripped the net curtain mum look heres some in my hands SEE. Mum she's in the window banging her head on it MUUUUUUUUUM"
I sit down for 2 minutes & the gates of hell open & take over my lounge room. There's only two of them for goodness sakes!
So the baby is told off & the 4yo is told to play quietly & stop dobbing but ALAS it starts again.
They're not usually like this but two days of this I've had enough, really I'm ready to bribe them with food dangling off a stick just to be able to make a hot drink.
There's a bug in the kitchen that has somehow found it's way BEHIND the little plastic screen of the microwave & the floors desperately need a mopping.
Anyone care to come around & mop? No? Didn't think so.
I have work tomorrow & no doubt MORE washing (I completed SEVEN loads yesterday!)
More cleaning of other peoples mess that they're too lazy to take outside themselves - aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh that's the life - NOT.
I'm tired, stressed & bowing down to the mothers of 2+ children out there - send me the link to YOUR blog so I can
steal borrow your ideas on child behaviour.
Don't get me wrong, they're usually quite happy to play quietly, cuddle up together or have me play toys with them but since yesterday - UGH - they don't even eat that much sugar, no cakes in THIS house.
GREAT! Now all my tiger cushions have YET AGAIN found themselves onto my lounge room floor, my painstakingly, hand & machine sewn tiger cushions. No wonder tigers are going extinct!
I swear the glass will be broken in my windows one day - I'm waiting for the day, I mean I have two kids under five so it's invitable right?
The husband most likely will be late home from work today again, tired, grumpy & complaining as to what is on the menu for dinner.
I'll be cleaning the lounge room for the 7-8th time that day after watching him leap frog from one clear patch of floor to the next towards the shower.
I STILL haven't received my instruction manual on how to raise a child successfully after 4 years of waiting & am just wondering if I could
steal borrow someone elses copy forever for just a little while PLEASE!?!?